Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
