I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
