the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
