I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
