He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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