You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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