doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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