I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize