She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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