Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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