I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize