I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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