took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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