How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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