Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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