He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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