I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
