what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
