ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Porn is love you can see.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
