my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
