Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
