The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
