like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize