Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
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By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
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Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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