What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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