I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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