lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
