I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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