Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
