Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
