**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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