when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I wear drunk well.
Randomize