also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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