forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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