Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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