She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
