Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
