In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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