its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
