gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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