It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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