i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
