Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
