Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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