I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
