I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the day after is always just damage control
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I booty called her while she was in labor.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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