8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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