that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
