He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
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i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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