I want to stick my p in your. b.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
