real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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