Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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