she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
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I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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