but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
