This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
