im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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