Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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