Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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