Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
