Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
