She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
