FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
